Dragged Through the FUCKING Coals

Dear Lord,

I hear you. I’m here. Choose me. I hear you. I hear it. I’m going to fuck up so bad it's not even funny, but I hear you. I hear that you are using my strong-willed and incredibly wise and intelligent wife to drag me through the coals to cleanse me. To burn off all the evil I have been surrounded by. Lord, I understand there is an “easy” way to do things, and I am well past the easy way. Either because of the hold those demons have on me or because we do not have the time to go the easy way for whatever you have in store for me and my wife.

Lord, drag me through the coals of your cleansing light. Burn from me the evil spirits of anger, defensiveness, and lust. Burn off the leeches the enemy has affixed to me. Lord, let me sit in the burning coals and feel not the pain of the fire, but the pain of the devil clinging to me as you pull them from my skin. Lord, I pray- no, I beg you to let me see my wife as your righteous guide on the path to walk through the coals. Not to find the easy path, but to find the path that cleanses me of all my iniquities. 

With that said… I get it. I get it now. I understand it. But I’m CERTAINLY NOT going to suddenly respond appropriately. I’m not Shadrach, Meshach, or Abednego. I can’t imagine I’m suddenly going to just say, yeah, open the door; let's step into the furnace. I got this. I’m still WAY too selfish

But I hear you, God. I’ll do my best to follow the guidance of my wife, who has thrown herself at your mercy so lovingly FOR ME. If I cannot hear that, then I’m not worthy of being her husband. She is far too precious a gem to be wasted on me if I can not see that she is leading me to you. 

Lord, I pray I can quickly heal our family, my wife's suffering from my iniquities, and determine what you have in place for me to do. Quickly. 

I’m running out of time.

In Jesus Christ’s name, Amen.